price for services: $200 per 55 minute session
Sliding scale available? no
LIST OF THERAPIES I PRACTICE: Interpersonal Neurobiology (it's not really a therapy, it's more a theory of mind and of change, but it's my guiding theory so I gotta keep it in here) Relational Life Therapy, Internal Family Systems Therapy, Emotional Transformation Therapy, Sand Tray, Coherence Therapy, EMDR
“Family dysfunction travels like wild fire from generation to generation until one brave soul turns around to face the flames. That person brings peace to the generations who came before them and spares the generations to come” —TERRY REAL
How does talking to someone help?
When a nervous system is both alone and overwhelmed, memory gets stored in a different way. The way it's stored makes it hard to reach even while that neural network is activated. What this means is that traumas from our past, when we're reminded of them, can create behaviors now and we can't seem to find a way to stop them.
When painful things happen and it's not encoded as trauma, we often push it away so it stays isolated within our system. This makes sense, pain hurts. Of course we don't want to relive or think constantly about things that are painful for us. Unfortunately, the speed of emotional reactions means that if we are not in good relationship with our emotional self, that emotional self will drive us subconsciously and without the benefit of thoughtfulness and regulation.
All of this means that not enough can be said about undoing aloneness. Being in the presence of someone who cares, who listens deeply, who asks questions to help you reflect on your own inner process, can help you feel not alone. Being not alone is essential, but it's actually not the only thing that works.
The truth is that talking alone isn't the only answer. It also is essential to work with an understanding of neural integration and the disruption of long term potentiation patterns. When dealing with trauma memory reconsolidation is essential. Reconsolidation can occur through experiential work such as Sand Tray, ETT, EDMR, and IFS. (These should all be links) Memory reconsolidation can also be done while talking. We just need to talk in a particular way, making sure to highlight the entire neural network as it shows up. Often this does involve having more awareness of the sensations in your body, movements that are waiting in the muscles and images that are linked to the emotional process. So talking alone doesn't fix it, but undoing aloneness while following the brain's path to healing does.
What’s your go to first question for a client and why?
"If we knocked this thing out of the park...if 6 months a year, two years from now you left saying 'that was worth every hour and every penny’, what do you have in your life that you don't have now?"
I ask that because people usually come to therapy understanding that they are hurting but they rarely know what needs are underlying the pain, anger, anxiety, depression. I find the faster we get to understand what needs are no being met for you, the faster we get to know what we need to build.
What’s best thing you ever learned from one of your people?
That connection is the natural state of all of us and that it is best supported by good boundary. I think I used to be very lonely but I didn’t know it. I would have said stressed or triggered. I didn't know how to let people be with me. Even if they were trying and doing a great job at communicating and being present, I couldn't let myself get that vulnerable. It's very vulnerable to admit need. Not with just one client but with all my people, I see again and again how good boundaries make vulnerability more safe and vulnerability leads to connection and connection supports us when it is overwhelming, when we can’t face it alone. By it I mean life, being human. Being human, feeling and watching myself feel and imagining it could be different all at once...that's a hard thing to live with for most of us. When we handle it successfully it’s the result of treating ourselves with love and respect and leaning in to those who love us too.
What are you going to do with your one wild and precious life?
Jules does speaking and teaching engagement and she speaks on a variety of topics including Interpersonal Neurobiology, Polyvagal Theory, Couples Counseling, and Therapeutic Presence. Contact Jules to find out if she can speak for you.
Juliane Taylor Shore (aka Jules) LPC-S, LMFT-S
IPNB Psychotherapy of Austin | 4009 Banister Lane, Two Park Place, Suite 330 Austin, TX 78704 | 512-653-0564 | email